Uncertain Tendencies

I just wanted to take a couple of minutes and write about the really excellent service I have received from the DC Public Library system, more specifically, from the staff of the Watha T. Daniel-Shaw Neighborhood Branch.

The first instance of super awesome service occurred about a year ago, when I went to the branch to pick up a reserved copy of Steppenwolf by Hermann Hesse.  After searching the hold shelf to no avail, I asked the man behind the info desk (who ended up being the branch manager) if it had come in yet.  He checked on the computer and told me that it hadn’t, but that they should have a copy upstairs in the stacks.  I went up and checked, but alas, no Steppenwolf.  After returning to the manager and informing him of this, he thought for a moment and then told me to follow him.  He brought me downstairs to his office, the back wall of which was lined wall-to-wall with bookshelves, searched for a minute, pulled out a copy of Steppenwolf, and handed it to me.  “Cool” I said, “Do I just check this out upstairs?”  “No, that’s my personal copy.  Just bring it back when you’re done with it.”  Totally awesome.

Fast forward to today.  I make the incredibly muggy 14 block walk to the library in order to find out why the hold I placed two months ago on Kristen Schaal‘s book The Sexy Book of Sexy Sex hadn’t been filled.  I ask the woman at the information desk if there’s a problem with the hold.  She checks the systems and comes up with an answer, “Every single copy the library system owns has been stolen, so you won’t be getting it from us.”  “Seriously?”  I ask.  “Yeah.  I actually own this book, and honestly, I was disappointed with it.  I tell you what.  Give me a couple of days, I’ll dig around and find my copy.  Then I’ll just leave it on the hold shelf under your name.  You don’t even have to bring it back.  If you like it, you can have it.”  Double awesome!

Never before have I experienced such awesomeness from multiple library employees.  Which is especially remarkable as they seem to spend most of their days dealing with groups of loud, annoying children.  Here’s to you, staff of the Watha T. Daniel-Shaw library branch.  Keep up the good work!

Greetings, all. I just recently finished compiling the list of films I viewed in 2010. For those not in the know, I keep track on my Google calendar of the movies I watch, as it helps me to remember both the films themselves as well as serving to jog my memory as it relates to the people I saw and the places I visited over the course of the year. Last year I wrote a post dealing with the best and worst of my 2009 viewings, and I thought it might be fun to write a similar post for the class of 2010.  I have decided to split this year’s list into two posts, as I found I had a lot more to say than expected about these films (also I am extremely lazy and only feel like writing so much at one time).

For the three or four people interested, I ended up watching around 159 movies this past year (I’m very good at keeping track, but have been known to miss some), not counting subsequent viewings of the same movie. I also only count a movie on the list if I watch it in its entirety.  Of those 159 movies, I had previously seen 49 of them, for a grand total of 110 new films watched in 2010. The 2009 numbers were: 126 total, 25 previously viewed, 101 new. Anyway, enough insignificant statistics. On to the awards!

Best Movie:  Black Swan

This was by far the easiest choice I had to make for this entry, and should come as no surprise to those who know I am a die hard fan of all Darren Aronofsky’s films (as well as his recently acquired mustache).  Though not my favorite film of his, Black Swan wins extra points for taking an actress towards whose past performances I am lukewarm (Natalie Portman), and a subject in which I have nearly no interest (ballet), and creating a film that I found extremely engaging and evocative.  Bravo.

Runner-up:   Moon

I don’t generally have a lot of faith in science fiction movies, as they all too often seem dependent on big budget special effects to the detriment of the overall story. (I feel this is the place where I should make an Avatar joke, but I haven’t seen it.  So feel free to add your own.) Moon however, is more reminiscent of 2001: A Space Odyssey in its low-key special effects and reliance on strong characters.  Sam Rockwell’s performance is definitely worth seeing.

Worst Movie:  Inglourious Basterds

Ugh.  I avoided this movie during its theatrical run, only to be subjected to it by a so-called “friend” who proceeded to fall asleep about a half an hour into the movie (or roughly 1/10th of its running time) and left me alone to experience the rest of it all by myself.  Though he apologizes profusely every time I bring it up, I still get angry thinking about it.  I mean, come on,  it’s a war movie with no combat scenes!  What the fuck?!  brad Pitt, who I almost always enjoy seeing, does nothing to lift my opinion of the film.  Everybody talks about how great Christopher Waltz’s performance is, and I suppose I can’t argue, but does it even matter?  All his scenes are mind-numbingly dull and go on forever.  I thought it was impossible to make me hate a movie that ends with Hitler getting machine gunned to death, but here we are.  And to think, I used to be the person that would defend Quentin Tarantino’s movies from detractors.  Never again.

Runner-up:  Gone with the Pope

This movie makes the list for much the same reason as Inglourious Basterds, in that it takes what could be a really fun premise (a plot to kidnap the Pope and charge a ransom of “one dollar from every Catholic in the world”) and fails to deliver on it in every conceivable way.  The bulk of the movie takes place on a tiny boat in the middle of the ocean, on which the main characters are holding the Pope.  He proceeds to have heartfelt conversations with his various captors which are largely inaudible due to the poor sound quality.  This is probably for the best.  This movie is notable for having been filmed in 1976 but never finished, only to be rediscovered in the garage of writer/director/producer/star Duke Mitchell several years after his death.  This is one movie that should have stayed lost.  It also loses points for changing its title from the obviously superior Kiss the Ring.

Surprisingly Good: The Proposition

In many ways I am as wary of modern westerns as I am of modern science fiction films.  The story and characters tend to suffer at the hands of overly elaborate action scenes.  The Proposition is served well both by the stark simplicity of its story and by the nuanced performances of its actors (Ray Winstone, Guy Pearce, Emily Watson, John Hurt, and Danny Huston all excel).  The bleak Australian outback is used to full effect in setting the mood, which is further enhanced by Nick Cave’s haunting score (he also wrote the film).  John Hillcoat, who recently directed the feature film adaption of Cormac McCarthy’s novel The Road, is a director to keep an eye on.

Runner-up: Deadly Prey

Making this category for completely different reason is Deadly Prey, an awesomely over-the-top action movie that takes the oft used man-hunting-man premise of Richard Connell’s short story “The Most Dangerous Game” and gives it some decidedly awesome 80s flavor.  The prey in this case is the supremely muscular and always outraged Danton, played by Mike “my brother is the director” Prior.  After being kidnapped and taken to the woods to be hunted by a group of mercenaries, Danton, a Vietnam vet,  quickly turns the tables and begins picking off said mercenaries left and right in some of the most absurdly entertaining action scenes ever filmed.  Clad only in cutoff jean shorts, Danton manages some truly amazing attacks, my favorite of which is when he manages to take a tree branch that can’t be more than two centimeters in diameter and shove it straight through a man’s chest.  Worth watching, provided you are surrounded by a group of like minded friends and have access to alcohol.

Surprisingly Bad: Eastern Promises

A David Cronenberg directed Russian mafia movie starring Viggo Mortensen, Naomi Watts, and Vincent Cassel.  What’s not to like?  A whole lot, if you’re me.  I went into this movie really expecting to like it, but found myself quickly bored by the plot, and in no way interested in following its twists and turns through grim scene after  grim scene.  The performances were actually pretty good, but they did little to help a movie that I wished I had turned off long before it concluded.  This is one of those movies whose generally positive critical reception I truly can’t understand.  Luckily I have no interest in doing so.

Runner-up: The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day

This movie is actually much worse than Eastern Promises, and failed to grab the top spot only because I expected it to be bad before I watched it.  I just couldn’t imagine how bad it was going to be.  Anyone who has seen the superb documentary Overnight knows that director Troy Duffy went all kinds of narcissistically crazy after the success of the original Boondock Saints, and boy does it show here.  Despite the fact that it took ten years to make, the movie feels like it was cobbled together over a weekend.  A weekend that included St. Patrick’s Day.  Dreadful in every aspect, the movie also has the distinction of being the most unintentionally(?) homoerotic film I saw last year, featuring more shots of naked man ass than an average episode of Oz.

That will do it for this week.  Stay tuned for next week’s post, where I will cover the Funniest, Most Kick-ass,  Movie of Which I Have No Memory, and Movie of Which I Wish I Had No Memory categories.

One of the many common gripes that a friend of mine and I share regards the seemingly more and more common practice of taking gender neutral terms or objects, for example:  “purse”  or “anorexia”, and combining them with masculine nouns to create portmanteaus, such as “murse” or “manorexia”.  Apparently this is done to disassociate the men involved from conditions or items they consider to be strictly feminine in nature.

“Anorexia is a woman’s disease.  I’m suffering from manorexia!”

or

“This isn’t a purse.  Purses are for chicks!  This is my murse.”

Needless to say, this trend is as problematic as it is idiotic.  It attempts to define a wide variety of behaviors, objects, and activities as exclusive to women, while simultaneously stating with maximum hypocrisy (and no apparent sense of irony) that, were men to seemingly indulge or partake in any of these, it would, simply by virtue of a man being involved, constitute an action so utterly separate and unique as to require the creation of an entirely new word in order to accurately describe it.

Which brings me to this salon.com article, which itself quotes a Boston Globe article, as well as the author of that article, Kathleen Pierce. These were recently brought to my attention by my aforementioned good friend.  They concern “hegans”, who Pierce defines thusly:

“Hegans aren’t interested in the principles of veganism, or saving their environment, or wearing extravagantly colored vegan tunics — they’re just interested in living longer. (Men quoted in the piece tout veganism’s supposed ability to prevent cancer, diabetes and heart disease.)”

What really bothers me about the Globe article is that not a single one of the people interviewed identifies themselves as a hegan.  It’s entirely an  invention of the author, who then appends it to the men interviewed with apparently no care as to whether or not they actually choose to identify themselves as such (or, in fact, if they even know that the term exists at all).

Note:  The author of this piece has been a vegan for the better part of six years. The “principles” of veganism (chiefly moral considerations, but also healthy living and environmentalism) are very important to him.  He will now take some time to address the concept of heganism directly.  All attempts at objectivity and civility will be temporarily suspended.

OK, so you’re not interested in issues of morality, environmentalism, or apparently, fashion (I would like to go on record as saying that I have no idea what an “extravagantly colored vegan tunic” is), only the effects it will have on your health?  Then guess what, geniuses?  You’re on a fucking diet.  You know, that concept for which they’ve had a word going on something like six hundred years now.  Not convinced?  Let’s consult, I don’t know, a goddamn dictionary or something:

I can’t even see how this would remotely remedy the perceived problem.  This is how I imagine a conversation over heganism breaking down.

Bro #1:  Why are you getting a salad?  What are you, some kind of vegan or something?  [Insert insult questioning friend's masculinity and/or sexuality]

Bro #2:  Nah bro, you got it all wrong.  I’m a hegan!

Bro #1:  You mean a vegan?

Bro #2: No, a hegan.

Bro #1: What’s the difference?

Bro #2: I don’t eat any animal products, but only because I’m concerned for my health.  So I’m still totally the height of masculinity.

Bro #1:  Ohhhhh, I see.  [Repetition of  initial insult]

I have a long list of things these hegans can eat.  All of which are located somewhere in or around my body.

Note:  Objectivity and civility have been restored to their pre-rant levels.

Obviously this is a topic with far reaching effects and implications.  It was not my intention to set down a definitive analysis of the topic at hand, but rather to share a few of my personal observations on the subject.  As always, feel free to utilize the comments section to expound upon this issue in any way you see fit.

Counterpoint:  Here is Tim Allen in a scene from Wild Hogs, espousing his own views on the relationship between diet and manliness.

In general I have had a very positive experience with Netflix since I began using their service a few years ago.  The system is simple and efficient, and the website is easy to use.  They don’t bother me with a lot of promotional material, they are quick to fix mistakes, and most importantly they are usually very good about suggesting movies in which I would be interested.

So imagine my surprise when I signed in to my account the other day and was greeted by this on my home page:

That’s right, Spartacus:  Blood and Sand.  The much advertised series whose commercials cause me to laugh out loud at their ridiculousness.  (“How many men would you kill to see your wife again?”  “I would kill them all!”)  yeah, I guess that would do it.

At first glance there doesn’t seem to be much out of the ordinary here.  Generating suggestions is a big part of what Netflix does, after all.  But closer inspection reveals this particular instance to be questionable in a number of ways.

First, unlike their typical recommendations, this is a suggestion to watch a show that recently premiered on the Starz network.  The same network that just happens to run it’s online viewing service through Netflix.

Second, while most suggestions are featured among a list of similarly themed movies in rows on the homepage, this was a huge ad (I actually had to cut it in half to get it to fit properly on this page) that took up about 50% of the screen immediately after I signed in.

Third, remember what I said about Netflix being very good at recommending movies?  Did you happen to see the two films they used to generate this suggestion?  That’s right, The Terminator and Army of Darkness.  Maybe I’m missing something here, but I fail to see how an action movie about a cybernetic assassin from the future and a comedy about a smart mouthed anti-hero fighting an army of the dead in the Middle Ages have much in common with what appears to be an adult themed “historical” drama series set during Roman times.  Granted, I’ve had strange or weak suggestion chains like that before, but these are tenuous at best.

Continuing with that last thought, you would think that Netflix would have better supporting material on which to build their endorsement.  After all, I’ve rated over 2600 movies and TV series on their site.  Even though I haven’t rated the original Spartacus, there surely must be something close to it that would help them determine whether I would be interested in the aforementioned series .  Perhaps 300?  Though taking place in Greece and not Rome, it’s certainly closer than say, 1980s LA.  My rating?  1 out of 5 stars.  What about Gladiator, then?  That’s pretty close, right?  It fared slightly better, 2 out of 5 stars.  Or how about the HBO series Rome?  You know, the adult themed “historical” drama series set during Roman times that I told Netflix I wasn’t interested in at all.  Huh, perhaps I wouldn’t enjoy Spartacus:  Blood and Sand after all.

To sum up, I’m not all that mad at Netflix.  I know that they’re a business, and this is more than likely an ad campaign they have worked out with Starz.  That doesn’t bother me.  If this had been a straight up advertisement I probably wouldn’t even have bothered mentioning it, and I certainly wouldn’t have felt the necessity to blog about it.  However, what I do object to is taking a generally trustworthy movie recommendation system and disingenuously using it as a front for advertisements.  Filling up my suggested movies list with choices like these causes me to call into question the veracity of their whole system.  While I wouldn’t call it a life threatening crisis, I would certainly put it on par with getting a disgusting sandwich at your favorite restaurant.  It certainly leaves the same taste in my mouth.

One (questionably) good thing about the seemingly endless accumulation of snow recently is that it has given me an opportunity to update my long neglected list of 100 favorite films.  For quite some time I have been meaning to add certain movies I’ve watched over the previous year to the list, and the snow is just the kind of excuse I need to indulge in this kind of time killing activity.

Lest anyone forget, this list is not objective in any sense of the word.  It’s quite directly subject to the peculiarities of my tastes, contradictory though they may be at times.  Now then, the freshly amended list, in order from highest to lowest:

1. The Seventh Seal
2. Aguirre: The Wrath of God
3. Gummo
4. Ratcatcher
5. Bande à part
6. The 400 Blows
7. Throne of Blood
8. Badlands
9. Run Lola Run
10. For a Few Dollars More
11. Breathless
12. The Godfather
13. Double Indemnity
14. The Long Goodbye
15. Rashomon
16. Medium Cool
17. Citizen Kane
18. Blade Runner
19. Masculin Feminin
20. Requiem for a Dream
21. Une Femme est une femme
22. The Fountain
23. Z
24. No Country for Old Men
25. The Magdalene Sisters
26. The Wind That Shakes the Barley
27. Night and Fog
28. Heaven
29. Days of Heaven
30. Schindler’s List
31. 2001: A Space Odyssey
32. Memories of Underdevelopment
33. The Royal Tenenbaums
34. Maria Full of Grace
35. The Red Balloon
36. There Will Be Blood
37. The Godfather, Part II”
38. Chinatown
39. Apocalypse Now
40. The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly”
41. The Assassination of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford
42. The Deer Hunter
43. A Woman Under the Influence
44. 21 Grams
45. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
46. Goodfellas
47. Fargo
48. Dr. Strangelove
49. Rachel Getting Married
50. The Treasure of the Sierra Madre
51. Hail Mary
52. The Princess and the Warrior
53. Children of Men
54. The Squid and the Whale
55. Wild Strawberries
56. Malcolm X
57. Five Easy Pieces
58. Yojimbo
59. Ran
60. The Killing
61. The Bicycle Thief
62. The Big Lebowski
63. Easy Rider
64. Bus 174
65. City of God
66. On The Waterfront
67. Salaam Bombay!
68. Taxi Driver
69. A Fistful of Dollars
70. The Big Sleep
71. Jules et Jim
72. The Conversation
73. Do the Right Thing
74. Downfall
75. The Day of the Locust
76. A Clockwork Orange
77. City Lights
78. Casino
79. The Aviator
80. Boyz N The Hood
81. Cool Hand Luke
82. Heat
83. Mouchette
84. The Thin Blue Line
85. Mister Lonely
86. Funny Games
87. Blue Velvet
88. The Endless Summer
89. Brick
90. Bonnie and Clyde
91. The Wrestler
92. Reservoir Dogs
93. Dog Day Afternoon
94. Boogie Nights
95. Full Metal Jacket
96. Pulp Fiction
97. Winter Sleepers
98. The Departed
99. The Exorcist
100. Jesus’ Son

Newcomers to the list are:  Une femme est une femme, Heaven, The Wrestler, Rachel Getting Married, Mister Lonely, Jules et Jim, Funny Games, Blue Velvet, Bonnie and Clyde, and Winter Sleepers.  The movie that broke highest on to the list is Une femme est une femme at 21.  The lowest is Winter Sleepers at 97.  Mathieu Kassovitz’s La haine was also included on the list, but was pushed out of the top 100 by the above films.

That’s about it for now.  If the snow continues I’m sure to find the time to write more.  In the future I hope to have periodic movie list updates, so keep a lookout for those.  As always, feel free to leave your thoughts, comments, or arguments.